This could be a sister, a girlfriend, a cousin or a co-worker. Each of us knows at least one person who, besides the ages passed and life progressed, even when she is stunning and perfect, did not yet have the privilege to start her own family. Often when a friend or family member is single raising this issue reveals fear and quarrel (at best) or complete severance of ties (at worst).
However, despite the fear of entering this very personal issue, the sincere and genuine desire to help to build new nests is very frequent. “If only I could talk with her frankly and give her my support,” the mother thinks sadly. “She will be the perfect mother, without any doubt,” think the sibling who has already been blessed with children and wants more nephews/cousins in their family.
But how do you take even first steps? As a surrogacy agency that has accompanied hundreds of couples on their way to starting a family, we come across similar stories almost daily. Of course, the question of referral is always a sensitive issue, and one story is always different from another. On the other hand, experience shows that there are similar lines and patterns that repeat themselves.
First, it’s important to remember that we do not really know the thoughts of another person. This is in regard to spouses and not to single women. Sometimes, the couple may seem “delayed” and they do not “want kids”, but the truth is that they try and fail from time to time. Not every couple wants to show the world that they failed their attempts to get pregnant and no one knows who has gone through countless silent births or recurrent miscarriages.
On the other hand, cases mentioned above are not far from reality. We have already been able to accompany intended parents in surrogacy proceedings and moreover, after the birth, we honestly admitted that without an open and sincere approach to this issue, we might not have reached this moment.”
Best probable option is be sensitive and determined. Many women are not aware of the possibility and ability to start a family through surrogacy proceedings in general, and surrogacy proceedings based on egg donation in particular. Surrogacy proceeding are not well developed abroad.
Surrogacy can be amazing solution on the way to having a family as a goal. Remember, once the boy or girl (or the children in twin surrogates) walk into your home, everything that happened before is just a part of history. New life begins and all pain and fear can be left behind. One can very quickly forget about all those Shabbat tables and holiday eves where the laughter of the nephews was like a knife piercing the heart (well hidden behind a seemingly happy face).
Good option can be to act through a “third party”. Sometimes this may be a family member, not so closest one who brings a gospel to the couple. The brother who was less involved in his sister’s personal life can carve paths through the walls of protection and silence. Using him, with gentle and careful words, can try and reveal many benefits essential for a surrogacy process.
Surrogacy sphere has undergone lots of dramatic revolutions for recent years, in terms of both accessibility and medical standards, and the threshold conditions as well. This is especially important in terms of solutions of surrogacy abroad that can skip the difficulties and obstacles characteristic to surrogacy in Israel.
On our agency’s website, we periodically publish the stories of couples we had the privilege of being a part of their journey. The stories are not presented by us, but thankful letters given to us tell real stories and penetrate the heart. Sometimes these letters have the power to overthrow the defense mechanisms, or at least crack them.
Don’t know how to get started? I invite you for a consultation. Dear parents, wonderful friends, and loving family members, as the one who did it herself (more than once), and who opened the Royal Surrogacy Agency out of a sense of mission, I would love to share my experience and talk to you in person. I can share with you the story of those who have stood in your place in the past, and even connect you to them. So you can hear firsthand about the parenting experience and the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.