Deciding to get the help of an egg donor and a surrogate may be one of the most challenging steps in the journey of a couple who wants to have a baby. Suppose you’re a woman who is unable to deliver a baby. In that case, you may feel devastated and blame everything on yourself, which is entirely wrong but, sadly, very common at the same time. We know that waiting to become parents can be heartbreaking when it’s due to struggles with infertility. But, if you are experiencing this in your life, know that you’re not alone – Infertility affects an estimated 15% of couples globally, amounting to 48.5 million couples.
However, luckily, if you have already decided to do this, there are some ways you can improve your emotional state and how you perceive the situation you are in.
Acknowledge that it is not your fault.
It is hard to cope with the fact that you are infertile and accept it, but you should never forget not to blame yourself. Often, infertility or difficulty conceiving is not anyone’s fault; it is a mix of genetics and other factors that we as human beings cannot control. Furthermore, blaming everything on yourself won’t be productive for your family. So you should be setting future goals instead and concentrating on the positive steps you can take to reach those aims.
Introspection is the examination of one’s own conscious thoughts and feelings.
Dealing with infertility is undoubtedly an arduous emotional journey — that is precisely why it’s crucial to get to know and accept those emotions rather than act as if they do not exist. As we have already mentioned, it is normal to feel sad and lost when you find out that you are unable to have a child naturally on your own, especially when it may seem to come so quickly to others.
Yet, when you bottle up these feelings or express them in a wrong way, it may lead to severe emotional and even physical side effects. Therefore, all enthusiastic parents fighting with infertility should take steps, to be honest with themselves and their spouses about their feelings. Only in this way can you appropriately approach these feelings and be able to move on confidently.
Be honest with your significant other and restore intimacy with them.
Some people build resentment and anger toward their partners when they can’t conceive naturally. And, while these feelings are entirely normal, it’s essential to overcome them. Always remember that your significant other is the person who will be there for you no matter what and especially while you go through the infertility process. You must remain a strong team during this journey. Our tips would be to share your feelings with them in a better manner and, if it is too painful for you, seeking the help of an experienced therapist may also be the right choice.
The other thing that happens very often is that when partners try too long for a baby, closeness and intimacy feel somewhat forced or done only with the aim to conceive and not to receive pleasure at the same time — this, of course, might affect the relationship. However, intimacy with your loved one helps to reduce your stress levels and remind you how everything has been before the situation you both are in right now. Thus, reclaiming closeness with your partner is genuinely beneficial. We recommend exploring new ways to reconnect with your significant other – just make some simple gestures for them to make them feel loved and respected.
Know your alternatives.
Frequently women who try to face infertility feel helpless and do not know what to do to solve this issue. Always remember that there is no such situation that you cannot overcome and a problem that you cannot resolve. Many professionals can help better understand the alternatives for couples who can’t conceive a baby naturally but still want to have a child. Knowing your options can make your future steps clear to you and make you more optimistic and even enthusiastic, in general. But staying realistic at the same time is also vital. You may not get pregnant magically out of anywhere, but the odds of getting pregnant using fresh embryos created from donor eggs are more than 50%. Moreover, if male factor infertility is the main cause of the couple’s inability to conceive naturally, donor sperm also boosts success significantly.
Take good care of yourself.
It is not a secret that overcoming infertility can be overwhelming, but it’s crucial to concentrate on your well-being during the process. Even when things appear too hard, take time for self-care, no matter psychological or physical.
Do not worry that a surrogate may want to keep your child.
An experienced surrogate knows what it’s like to have a family and wants the same for you and your partner. Most surrogates feel very thankful to have had moderately uncomplicated pregnancies, and they wish to use this to help people like you. She does not perceive the baby as hers to keep – she is just carrying your child for a while so you can take them home eventually.
To sum up, once you acknowledge that infertility is not your fault, get to know your emotions and options, are honest with your partner, and take care of yourself, you will be able to handle the whole situation better and achieve good results in your path to having a child.
We at Royal Surrogacy hope that these tips will help you and wish you health and a highly successful journey to your dream of having a baby.
By Dina Jaoshvili